Monday, August 19, 2013

The Five Love Languages


The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts [Unabridged] [Audible Audio Edition]

Author: | Language: English | ISBN: B000AAVA04 | Format: PDF, EPUB

The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
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Dr. Gary Chapman identifies five basic languages of love and then guides couples towards a better understanding of their unique languages of love. Learn to speak and understand your mate's love language, and in no time you will be able to effectively love and truly feel loved in return. Skillful communication is within your grasp!


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  • Audible Audio Edition
  • Listening Length: 4 hours and 46 minutes
  • Program Type: Audiobook
  • Version: Unabridged
  • Publisher: Oasis Audio
  • Audible.com Release Date: July 15, 2005
  • Whispersync for Voice: Ready
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B000AAVA04
The main idea behind this book is that just as people have unique personality preferences, we all have unique preferences for what we find satisfying and motivating when it comes to love. Your love language is the way that you most feel loved and cared for. The problem is most people love how they want to be loved, and that doesn't tend to align with how their partner wants to be loved. So, you have to learn to speak your partner's love language. The author also believes that focusing intently on speaking the love languages will rekindle relationships where people don't even seem to like each other anymore.

The relationship expert who wrote the book arranges the book into the five love languages, and provides quizzes to help you determine which language you are:

- Words of Affirmation:
If this is your love language, you feel most cared for when your partner is open and expressive in telling you how wonderful they think you are, how much they appreciate you, etc.
Basically, they find ways to remind you that their world is a better place because you are in it.

- Acts of Service:
If your partner offering to watch the kids so you can go to the gym (or relieving you of some other task) gets your heart going, then this is your love language.

- Affection:
This love language is just as it sounds. A warm hug, a kiss, touch, and sexual intimacy make you feel most loved when this is your love language.

- Quality Time:
This love language is about being together, fully present and engaged in the activity at hand, no matter how trivial.

- Gifts:
Your partner taking the time to give you a gift can make you feel appreciated.
How's your relationship with your mate? Your children? Your parents? Your siblings? It may be a matter of the state of the "love tank".
Author Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate believes everyone has a love tank, and that tank is filled by different love languages. These five languages are Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Quality of Time, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
Often, we tend to give love in the languages we are most fluent in, which usually ends up being the languages that fill up our love tank. This would be why a husband who does yard work, dishes, car maintenance, etc. (Acts of Service) is floored when his wife says "You never show me you love me. You never cuddle with me, or caress my hair, or make the first move for sex." (Physical Touch). Or, "Why don't you spend time with me? Why do you work so much?" (Quality Time). And, "Why don't you buy me flowers? Why don't you ever get me cards or balloons...just because?" (Gifts) Or "You never tell me what I mean to you. Why don't you ever share with me what I mean to you, or what my good qualities are?" (Words of Affirmation) But, if her language is primarily Acts of Service, she'll feel so loved and honored because her husband does so many things for her, and thus feels "full" in her love tank.
This may not sound like a big deal, but considering the divorce rate is 50% (as one relationship instance), and so many seem to be unhappy with their primary relationships, the concept of love languages may very well be a signficant factor in understanding self and others, and in relationship growth.

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